


Stuck In My Head, Stuck In My Heart, Stuck In My Body

by DomleneIsEndgameXx



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22121716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DomleneIsEndgameXx/pseuds/DomleneIsEndgameXx
Summary: “It was a pleasant surprise when Darlene had met her from work that late Friday afternoon.”
Relationships: Darlene Alderson/Dominique DiPierro
Comments: 21
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

Work was not the nicest place for Dom to be as of late. She’d returned just over a week ago now and was still having difficulty settling back in.

Her co-workers were incredibly unwelcoming. New agents had transferred to her department in the time she‘d been away and had already grown a tendency of speaking down to her, no matter how much her work proved she was one of FBI’s finest agents. Her old co-workers seemed to distrust her, or worse, pity her. She’d hear whispers most times she’d walk by their desks and she’d roll her eyes each time, wondering how word always managed to spread like wildfire in the workplace.

Of course, there were a few good people who still treated her with respect, a few who had been pleased to see her back and healthy. Not nearly enough to make her feel entirely comfortable there again though.

The confident façade she used to wear had become foreign to her within the last 7 months, and she questioned whether it was even worth putting on anymore. Wasn’t the point of her trip to learn to let go?

The thing Dom found most unsettling about being back, was how there was no big project for her to delve deep into anymore. No case would ever compare to her last, making each day at work far less exciting. Though - if she was honest - she doubts she’d ever become that invested in a project again. Still, it left her with a strong sense of emptiness. A craving for more.

Today was a particularly shitty day, consisting of boring surveillance jobs and one of the most incompetent agents working by her side, filling her ears with sarcastic and witty remarks every second. If professionalism didn’t run so deeply within her, she thinks she would have whacked him by now.

So, it was a pleasant surprise when Darlene had met her from work that late Friday afternoon.

She was leaning against the wall opposite her work building, an oversized flannel tucked lazily into her high-waisted navy shorts. Her hair, a beautiful mess as always, blew wildly in the breeze. A small smile graced her lips when her eyes caught sight of Dom. She gave a half-assed wave before bringing the cigarette in her hand back up to her lips.

The tension and anxiety from the long day slowly melted away as she made her way across the road towards the other woman, and her shoulders relaxed a little, almost completely once she reached Darlene. It still hadn’t fully sunk in that they were finally back together again, despite the many times they’d met up since she’d been back from Budapest.

”Hey.” She placed her hands awkwardly in her back pockets, trying not to show just how happy she was to finally have some good company for the first time that day.

Darlene nonchalantly reached up to fix the redhead’s shirt collar. It was a small gesture, yet Dom found her heart buzzing. She emitted a light unnecessary cough and flicked her hair out of her face, feigning interest in an old couple across the street to distract her.

”Sup. How was work?” She pushed herself away from the wall and threw her cigarette butt to the ground. Dom’s attention was now back on her.

”Not bad.” The brunette began walking, crossing her arms against her chest as she watched the taller woman speak. Dom followed thoughtlessly beside her, “Y’know, it’s a little weird being back. Still trying to find my bearings.”

”Dude you were made for that job, it’ll come back to you in no time.” Her eyes sweetened as she looked up at her, reassuring and kind, before turning their attention back to the sidewalk.

”Thanks. It’s not so much the work, mostly the people and-“

”Need me to kick some ass for you down there?” She bumped her arm into Dom’s playfully and the agent returned the action with a smirk.

”No, I’m good. Thanks though.”

“Shit you’re right,” She shook her head with a chuckle, “I say it as if you’re not a badass FBI agent.” Dom let out a light chuckle herself.

”So uh, did you have somewhere specific in mind or did you meet me to go on a mindless wander?” She joked, but honestly, she was content being in Darlene’s company whatever they did.

”Figured we could go for lunch.”

Dom scoffed.

”Lunch? Darlene it’s almost 6”

Darlene flailed her arms carelessly by her sides, “Okay, well, dinner then?”

”Sure, I could eat.”

”Cool.”

Dom sucked lightly at her bottom lip as they continued to walk in a comfortable silence, a subconscious habit she’d had for as long as she could remember. If it wasn’t her lip, it was a lollipop.

Her thoughts drifted and it wasn’t long before they were stood outside a small oriental restaurant. Nothing fancy, but it looked nice enough.

”God, smells so good. I could literally inhale some noodles right now.” Darlene said as she walked through the door, eyes closed momentarily in bliss at the aroma. Dom made an absent-minded reply of some sort as she watched Darlene, another habit she just couldn’t seem to break no matter how hard she tried.

Seeing Darlene smile caused a feeling inside her like no other, and it hit her suddenly that this was the first time she’d seen it since before she’d left. That after 6 whole months, she was finally back in the city, with _her _, and things were normal for the first time since they’d met. The last times they’d met since Dom’s return had been heavy and emotional, but this was refreshingly pleasant.__

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____

It made her heart thud and caused a strange sensation in her stomach. She’d call it butterflies if she was a lovestruck teenager, and she took a moment to gather and remind herself that she certainly _wasn’t _that.__

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____

Darlene strode towards the table by the window and shrugged off her purple backpack, shoving it carelessly underneath with her foot before sitting down on one of the wooden, somewhat uncomfortable, seats. She looked up expectantly at Dom when she didn’t sit down with her.

”Be right back, just gotta use the bathroom ‘kay?”

Darlene huffed leaning further into the chair, “Sure, just don’t take ages. I’m fucking starving.”

She gave a little nod, running her fingers across the table as she turned and headed for the restroom. She still felt gross from work, sweaty and worn down from being in a boiling hot room for hours on end.

She placed her bag by the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. _Jesus H did I really look that bad? _She ran her hands through her messy hair and quickly decided to put it up in a ponytail, agitated with the way it fell around her face on this particular day. She spritzed herself with some deodorant and lightly topped-up her makeup.__

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Taking one last look at her reflection, she unfastened a couple of shirt buttons to show off her neck and collarbones a little, and released a deep breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. She looked herself up and down blankly. _That’s as good as it’s gonna get _. Letting out a small sigh, she grabbed her blazer, swung her bag over her shoulder and headed back out.__

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Darlene was already eyeing up the menu, resting her chin in her free hand. The low sunlight seeping through the window gave her a beautiful radiance, and Dom had to catch herself before dwelling on the thought too long. After everything they’d been through, after all the time apart, she didn’t need to over complicate things for either of them by expecting more than a friendship...or whatever she could call it between them. No matter how much she thought Darlene may want it too.

She hurried over and sat opposite the brunette, placing her belongings in the empty seat beside her.

”Ah, she’s back.” And there was that smile again as she pulled the menu away from her face. Dom couldn’t help but smile back.

Darlene had picked up on Dom’s change in appearance, and she decided she liked it. She rarely saw Dom with her hair out of her face, it exaggerated her strong bone structure and her beautiful pale skin.

She placed the menu between them on the table, leaning over and twisting awkwardly to view it. “I’m just gonna go for the chicken ramen I think, you?” She looked up, keenly watching the redhead’s grey eyes as they scanned through the options. Dom wasn’t particularly hungry, but she made a quick decision in hopes it’d get her a drink sooner. She always enjoyed an alcoholic beverage to help wind down after work.

”Uh, I’ll have the yakisoba. Do you think they serve beer here?” She hoped her tone didn’t come across too desperate, something she’d grown conscious of since her minor drinking problem in her time with the Dark Army.

When she looked up to check for any signs on Darlene’s face that she had, she realised just how close they’d been. Darlene didn’t pull away though. In fact, she made a point of staying still. All that moved were her eyes locking onto Dom’s lips. It was hard for Dom to miss, and she took this as her cue to move away before it became too intense. She leaned back and watched out the window, tightening her ponytail as she did.

”Don’t see why they wouldn’t.” Darlene eventually answered, picking the menu back up and folding it away casually, “It’s not like we’re fine dining. We can always go for a drink after if not though?”

If Dom wasn’t mistaken there a glint of hope in her eyes, and lord knows she had spent enough time reading Darlene in the past to know. But a sense of dread washed over her as a memory of the last time they were in a bar together flashed through her mind. Of course she was happy in that moment, but not what it had all led up to.

Her face faltered. She tried to compose herself, however, when she noticed concerned eyes watching her through long, dark eyelashes. She took a deep breath through her nose, pushing down the memories along with it.

Things were different now. She was finally moving forward again. She shouldn’t take a step back into the past.

”Sounds good. Want me to order?”

”It’s cool, I’ll do it.” She swung herself out of the chair and headed to the counter. Her mood had noticeably deteriorated and Dom wondered if she had sensed her hesitation.

But of course she had.

What Dom didn’t realise, was Darlene had also spent a long time learning to read her. Had also acquired a habit of watching her. It didn’t take her long to figure out where Dom’s thoughts had drifted, and she’d suddenly felt like a dick for even suggesting it. The guilt wriggled it’s way back in for the first time in a while, and her chest ached at the idea of Dom not wanting her anymore; at mistaking the small moments they’d shared lately as anything more than friends enjoying each other’s company.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and reminded herself how lucky she was to even have Dom back in her life. She tried to be content with that.

_

It wasn’t long before Darlene returned with two open beer bottles in hand, explaining that their food would be over shortly as she placed the drinks down on the table and flopped back in her seat.

She was already practically back to her usual self, and after a few attempts at light-hearted conversation, Dom eventually managed to earn back Darlene’s smile. It was a rarity to see her smile so much and Dom liked to think in the time they’d been apart, Darlene had begun to heal like she had.

They joked back and forth until their food arrived, ordered another round of beers from the waiter having already finished their first.

”This is nice,” Dom voiced between chewing her food, “thanks for this.”

”No problem. I needed an excuse to get out of that shitty apartment.” She shrugged, “Plus...I don’t think I’ll ever get used to having you back here with me.” She looked up from her food to give Dom an earnest smile, eyes soft. It provoked a warm feeling to spread throughout Dom’s chest and pool in her stomach, and for a split-second, she felt like she was going to word-vomit. Spill her heart out about how much she adored this reckless woman sat before her. She pushed the staggering thought down almost as quickly as it came and returned her attention back to her food.

The conversation from there flowed nicely. Darlene talked about her brother, how he was getting better, how they’d been getting along more as of late. Dom touched upon work again briefly, changing the subject to her mother and family when she realised she was beginning to complain too much. It was enjoyable.

Then, Darlene held her bottle up to her lips, readying herself for another sip before asking Dom a question.

”So, you used to masturbate over me?”

Dom almost choked on her food, blushing furiously. She looked around to see if anyone else had heard, despite the place being close to empty. Darlene was clearly amused, watching her with a huge grin on her face.

Dom tried to compose herself, placing her fork down beside her bowl and straightening out, reaching for her beer as casually as she could.

”We are not talking about this.” Her voice was stern and she refused to look Darlene in the eye, tensing her jaw. She took a quick swig of her beer and redirected her attention out the window once again, watched as the sky turned a pastel purple with dusk growing nearer. She chewed lightly at the inside of her cheek, trying to relieve some the nervous energy she was now harbouring.

”C’mon dude,” She swirled a mouthful of noodles around her fork, “it doesn’t bother me. If anything I’m flattered.” She ate the food she had accumulated, her eyes never leaving Dom’s face. Her clear awkwardness and miserable attempt at hiding it only spurred her on. She loved making her nervous. “Do you still do it?”

”Darlene!” This time she did look at Darlene, eyes bulging in horror. She cursed her for putting her on the spot like this, and for the first time that afternoon, she wished she could be anywhere else but there.

She stayed silent in hopes Darlene would change the subject, trying to focus on the food she’d become increasingly disinterested in. She played with it, waiting for something to be said, but when she eventually looked up Darlene’s eyes were still on her, expectant and amused. _Right _, it was down to her to change the subject. She cleared her throat, still avoiding eye contact.__

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”This beer tastes goo-“

”If it makes you feel any better, I used to think about you. When I did it I mean.”

For a brief moment, Dom forgot how to breathe.

”You...wait, really?” she’d never expected that confession to fall from Darlene’s mouth, and all at once, a different kind of warmth spread through her. The thought of Darlene pleasuring herself entered her mind, and she closed her eyes momentarily, willing it to go away.

She sucked at her bottom lip again, watching Darlene’s seductive eyes studying her. Her eyes glanced down to the brunette’s plump lips hovering above her drink, and she swallowed hard. She’d always been fond of Darlene’s lips.

”Why wouldn’t I? A strong, gorgeous FBI agent who, may I add, _really _knows what she’s doing in the bedroom? I mean, fuck. It’s hard not to think about.” She took another sip of her beer and licked the residue off her lips, a smirk tugging on them at the sight of Dom’s dumbfound expression.__

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Dom found herself questioning how things had escalated so quickly. Part of her wanted to keep the conversation going. The part that craved Darlene; craved her lips against her own again, feel her body close. It was a craving that grew stronger each day they’d been apart, and there was nothing really stopping her this time.

But the truth was she was afraid. As miserable as it was, she’d grown comfortable in her loneliness, and the last time she’d shown her vulnerable side had turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Before she hesitated for too long she convinced herself to let go a little. She didn’t have to take this seriously, this was Darlene she was talking to. A little shameless flirting never did any harm. As long as it didn’t go too far.

”Good in the bedroom, huh? I’ll be sure to remember that.” Her voice was low and gentle, “You weren’t too bad yourself.”

”No kidding. I still remember the way you practically screamed my name.” She looked far too proud of herself at that as she scooped up the last of her food, and Dom felt her heart drop with embarrassment before composing herself once more. She reminded herself that two could play at that game.

”Yeah? Well if I remember correctly you could barely talk when I was done with you.” Now was her time to look proud, tongue-in-cheek as she drank in Darlene’s stunned expression. Darlene was raising her brows at the other woman, heart pounding like crazy at Dom’s staggering boost in confidence, despite the cool front she was trying to put up. If it wasn’t for the mellow radio playing in the background she swears she’d be able to hear her heartbeat.

”Don’t get too cocky now, DiPierro.” She leaned back and pushed her empty bowl away from her. “Anyway, you gonna finish that?”

Dom looked down at her food, hardly touched. She’d lost her appetite in the time they’d been sat down. “Uh, no. Not that hungry anymore.” She brushed a few stray strands from her ponytail behind her ear and pushed her bowl forward to join Darlene’s in the middle of the table.

”Dude that’s such a waste.”

“Sorry,” She shrugged before downing the last of her beer, “food’s on me next time. Wanna get outta here?“ she’d already started grabbing for her blazer and bag as she noticed the only other customers leaving, and Darlene delighted in the fact Dom had suggested a next time.

”Yup.” She reached down for her bag and swung it back on as she bounced back up. “So, how ‘bout that drink Girl Scout?” She asked, fluttering her eyelashes at her.

She agreed before she could find a reason to decline the offer. They headed out, Dom thanking the waiter politely as they did.

The air had grown a chill in the time they’d been inside, and Dom put her blazer back on while Darlene hugged her arms tightly around herself. They’d managed to get halfway down the sidewalk when the agent stopped abruptly in her tracks.

”Shit, I forgot I drove to work this morning.” She bit her lip in contemplation deciding on what to do.

”Dom you’ve only had a couple drinks. We’ll just drive back and find a bar near yours.” She got out her pack of cigarettes and placed one delicately between her lips. An action Dom found captivating for some reason.

“Can’t. I’m nearly over the limit.” She huffed and began walking again, taking in their surroundings. The sky had turned a vivid orange, the bright glow of it bouncing off the skyscrapers encompassing them.

”Ugh, I forgot.” She rolled her eyes, strolling behind, “God forbid Miss law enforcement over here ever defy the rules, even if she’s not _technically _breaking the rules.” She began patting herself down, trying to find something.__

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____

”Well the “rules” are there for a reason.” Her tone was patronising yet playful, “It doesn’t really matter I guess. I’ll just catch the subway with you. My car can stay there till morning.” She stopped again when she couldn’t hear Darlene’s boots hitting the concrete behind her anymore.

”I’ve lost my fucking lighter.” She groaned, glancing behind her to see if it had fallen on the ground when she couldn’t find it in her bag.

”Here, I might have some matches.” She took a small pack out from her purse, a tiny souvenir she’d kept hold of from one of the bars in Budapest.

She ignited one of the tiny wooden sticks and moved towards Darlene, noticing how her blue eyes watched her intently. She stepped even closer, admiring how the orange flare gleamed in the glossiness of them as she held the flame against the cigarette. The intensity of her stare left Dom feeling flustered, but she didn’t show it this time. Instead she held her gaze, pursing her lips to blow out the flame once she saw Darlene inhale the tobacco smoke. They stared at one another for a little while longer, testing to see who would look away first. But Darlene’s eyes were inviting, and Dom’s underlying fear slowly evaporated the further she fell into her gaze.

She decided then and there - Even if Darlene was to hurt her again, some people were worth suffering for. And Darlene was.

She reached forward for the brunette’s other hand, wrapping her slender fingers around it to raise it up between them. Darlene’s eyes followed Dom’s every movement and softened when she saw the small box being placed in her palm.

”Keep them.” She smiled tenderly, “They were a memento from Budapest.”

“These from the bar you wouldn’t stop raving about in your postcards?” She clocked onto the familiar Hungarian name at the front of the pack as she peered down at them, a gentle smile forming at the sweet token.

“Yeah,” she readjusted her bag strap, watching Darlene take another drag of her cigarette, “They serve the most amazing bourbon there by the way. You’d have loved it.”

Darlene averted her eyes down to the concrete, releasing a faint _hmm _sound as a wave of sadness washed over her. “Maybe we could _actually _go together someday. And not because we’re on the fucking run.” Her heart twinged painfully remembering their goodbye at the airport. How she’d clung tightly onto Dom as they cried in each other’s arms, hoping that if she closed her eyes hard enough she’d magically find Dom had changed her mind when she opened them...That she wouldn’t leave her.____

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She took a deep breath and began walking again. She hated staying still for too long. “Thanks for these.” She motioned down at the matches before placing them securely in her pocket.

Dom wanted to say something to cheer the girl up, knowing just how painful it was to reminisce that day, and she understood that’s were Darlene’s thoughts had roamed. She held the same despair in her eyes as she did when Dom had first told her she couldn’t go.

“We can someday, if that’s something you want?,” she made sure not to come across as patronising, “S’not like I’m going anywhere.” She hoped her words were reassuring; wanted to reach out and touch her, squeeze her shoulder, hold her hand, anything to give some extra comfort and push her point. But Darlene was not the type to enjoy being coddled, so she didn’t push it.

Darlene gave a weak nod and took another puff at her cigarette. “I guess we’ll see what the future holds. Anyway, I have no fucking clue where I’m going.” She slowed her pace and ran a hand through her hair, scrunching it up for volume as she did. “Any good bars around here?” She plastered a smile back on and looked at the redhead who was already smiling down at her and suddenly her happiness wasn’t disingenuous. She surveyed around as Dom was thinking, and noticed at least 3 or 4 bars already - one of which she’d been to before. It hadn’t really been her scene.

“Yeah actually, I know just the place.” She made a spur of the moment decision to just reach out and pull Darlene into a side-hug, even if Darlene decided she wanted to shrug her off. But she didn’t. She appreciated the gesture and revelled in it, resting her head on her shoulder as they walked. “Come on.”


	2. Chapter 2

They had ended up taking a turn down one of the backstreets, Dom leading the way as Darlene moseyed behind. The sun had now pretty much disappeared, the sky turning a dusty blue shade with a few blazes of gold still scattered across the skyline.

The backstreets were quiet aside from the sound of their shoes hitting the concrete and the distant ambience of city traffic.

They slowed down by a rustic looking bar and a small smile brightened Dom’s face. The muffled sound of music, prominently guitar strings, could be heard.

“Here it is.”

Darlene’s face remained neutral as her eyes scanned the exterior. Ultimately however, she was unimpressed. By Dom’s excitement she’d expected some fancy bar, not a shoddy saloon. She reminded herself she shouldn’t care though. It was just another place to drink. If it was good enough for Dom it was good enough for her. 

“This is one of the best bars in the city.” She flashed a smile over her shoulder, pushing open one of the heavy doors to hold open for Darlene, “I haven’t been here in so long. Used to come here after work all the time.” She looked around as the door closed behind them, taking the place in. The brunette did the same from beside her.

It wasn’t as bad as it had looked from the outside. In fact, it was quite pleasant. Warm tones and varnished wood filled the place, faded vintage prints covering the worn brick walls. Low-hanging light shades dangled from the ceiling’s beams and a couple of neon signs were strewn about. The windows had thick dark curtains concealing them, leaving only the golden hue of artificial lights to brighten the room.

Loud country music from the jukebox and the sharp smell of strong spirits filled their senses as they made their way towards the bar. Dom gave a nod to the bartender she had recognised as they sat down at the far end. A couple of older gentleman were sat at the other talking between themselves. The majority of the other customers were gathered in the booth area at the other side of the room, mostly middle-aged couples. Then there was just the younger crowd surrounding the pool table in the centre. The atmosphere was amiable.

“So, why’d you stop coming here?” She tossed her hair out of her face as she relaxed on the stool, prying off her backpack and leaning forward against the bar. She realised it was probably a stupid question; that Dom had likely stopped coming here when the Dark Army recruited her.

“I don’t know...” She shrugged, picking distractedly at one of the coasters resting on the bar, “It was around the time of the 5/9 case. Got too invested, ended up working overtime most days.” Darlene bit her lip and cringed as the topic came up. The 5/9 hack was still a touchy subject for the both of them. “By the time I’d finish, it’d be the early hours of the next morning. Felt best to opt for coffee over alcohol by then. Never really had the chance to come back after that.” She ran her lip gently between her teeth and sullenly watched as the bartender concocted drinks for the men at the counter.

Darlene considered delving deeper into the conversation - ask her more questions about that time of her life, satisfy her with more context to the 5/9 hack, discuss what had happened between the two of them back then all over again. But she hastily decided against it. She went for the light-hearted approach instead, as she so often did.

“Can totally see why you’d love it here. This place has _you _written all over it.” She poked at the redhead, who gladly accepted it as a compliment, an airy smile adorning her face. Dom wriggled around in her seat, trying to find a position for her long legs to rest comfortably.__

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They waved down the bartender, Dom ordering a pint of beer for herself and a bourbon for Darlene.

“Big fan of country music then?” She glanced past Dom to the jukebox then back. She hadn’t heard Dom listen to anything other than country.

“Yeah. Grew up listening to a lot of it. My mother always thought she sounded like Patsy Cline, which by the way, I can confirm is not true.” A short giggle bubbled from her mouth at the fond memory, and Darlene loved that she was able to talk about her family again without being on the verge of tears.

They were shortly served their drinks, and Darlene smiled down at the clear amber liquid in her glass, forming small waves as she swirled it around. “I am soooo getting wasted tonight.” 

Dom hadn’t liked the sound of that at all. 

“Well you might wanna take it slow, it’s still pretty early yet.” She took a sip of her beer and scrunched her face up at the sight of Darlene throwing back the whiskey like a shot. “Don’t expect me to help you home if you’re blind drunk by the end of the night”

“Fuck that. You’re getting drunk with me.” Darlene shot back matter-of-factly.

“Oh, that so?” She quirked her brows and scoffed, “Have you forgotten I have a job that needs attending tomorrow morning?”

“Dude you said it yourself - you’re not working any big cases at the moment. You can handle some surveillance shit with a slight hangover.”

Darlene had a point, and it’s not like she hadn’t gone to work with multiple hangovers before when she was working undercover for the Dark Army, but she still didn’t agree with it. She hadn’t been back long. She couldn’t afford to mess up.

“No, Darlene. I’ll stay for a couple and that’s it.” She leaned back slightly, not realising she’d been slouching, and wrapped a hand around her glass again.

“You’re seriously gonna bail on me after a couple of beers? That’s fucking lame.” She rolled her eyes in her typical cynical manner. “And here I thought you were finally learning to let go a little.” Her soft tone oozed disappointment and it stung, even if it was just a way of getting Dom to change her mind.

She braved a glance at Darlene’s blue eyes and instantly regretted it, her gaze sucking her in while she pouted at her. Dom averted her eyes back to her drink and took a few more mouthfuls, an upbeat country song and the general chatter of customers filling the silence between them.

She gave her decision a little more thought, and at another glance in the brunette’s direction - watching her slouch against the bar and stare dejectedly into the bottom of her empty glass - she reluctantly gave in.

“Jesus H, fine.” She huffed, the girl beside her springing back to life as soon as the words left her mouth.

“Yay.” Her face beamed with happiness and Dom shook her head at Darlene’s juvenile nature, biting lightly at her cheeks in attempt to fight the smile creeping its way onto her face - but Darlene’s joy was contagious as she jiggled excitedly in her stool, and her smile was soon too difficult to hide. 

“Two double whiskeys, straight up.” Darlene raised her voice over the music towards the bartender.

The weight of of the decision Dom had just made slowly sunk in and she questioned what she’d just gotten herself into. She was going to be a mess tomorrow. By downing the rest of her pint, she tried to override the feelings of anxiety sneaking their way in.

She pushed up her shirt sleeves and tightened her ponytail before giving her fresh drink a sniff, screwing her face up as the potent smell hit her. She usually only drank bourbon on occasion - purely to savour the taste, never to get drunk.

“You’re such a bad influence on me, you know that?” She puffed out a small laugh and shook her head.

Darlene snickered, grabbing her drink and leaning closer to Dom. She heard Dom’s breath hitch in her throat at the unexpected intimacy and bit back the proud smirk tugging at her lips.

“You love it.” Her voice was sultry, sending tingles all the way down Dom’s spine. She motioned towards the drink still resting on the counter with a nod of her head. “Cheers?” 

Dom grasped her drink and clinked it against brunette’s.

“Cheers.”  
_

Time passed faster as they drank, a couple of hours having gone by with a larger crowd now filling the bar. The Friday night partygoers were celebrating the end of the work week. _Good for some _Dom had thought, the notion of having to work tomorrow worming it’s way into her brain. A day off was purely a luxury for FBI agents. She used to love work - was practically married to her job. But it wasn’t the same anymore. She’d drowned the thought out with another swig of her drink.__

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They were now on their sixth whiskey, Darlene having come to the compromise of taking their drinks a little slower for Dom’s pleasure.

They were rambling about all sorts of nonsense - from the turtle Darlene had dreamt of having for years which Dom found absurd yet adorable, to Dom’s embarrassing dating experiences with men before she’d come to terms with her sexuality, which Darlene had promised to tease her about forever.

Now they were on the topic of Dom’s tattoo.

“Stop dicking around and tell me! You’re saying there was absolutely no inspiration for it? I call bullshit.” She clapped a hand on the wooden counter.

“I guess I saw someone with something similar once and liked the design, swear to god there’s nothing more to it.” She concluded with a shrug. Her hair was now down again, messy ginger waves cascading around her shoulders. She’d also untucked her shirt for the benefit of her comfort.

“Alright whatevs.” Darlene droned, a hint of disbelief still in her tone, “Anyway, how about a game of truth or drink?“ she wiggles her eyebrows, fidgeting in her stool.

Dom chuckled, “Not gonna happen, we’re not in college Darlene.” 

“So? I wanna know more about you. Plus, it’d be nice to have you ask me questions _outside _of the interrogation room for once.” She teased, nudging Dom’s knee with her own. If Dom wasn’t slightly hazed from the whiskey she’d have been more pissed at Darlene for crossing a line. Instead, she just gave her a steely glare which Darlene deflected with an eye roll. “We’ll make it more exciting. Shots?”__

____

__

Dom didn’t see a point in arguing in the end. It’s not like they weren’t already drinking and asking questions between themselves. It just gave her a chance to ask something more personal with the surety of an honest answer or no answer at all.

“Fine. But I go first.” She replied, adjusting in her seat again.

“Go for it.”

Dom took another sip of her drink as she considered what to ask. Darlene ordered their shots as she did. Soon enough, 6 vodka shots were lined out before them.

“Shit I forgot. Rules.” Darlene clapped her hands together and scooted her stool closer to Dom. Their thighs were now against each other, and the feel of it set a spark off in both of them. “If you answer, I have to take your shot. If you don’t, you take the shot, and vice-versa. 3 questions each. Go.”

Dom chuckled at the childishness of the game.

“Okay...” she leaned back slightly, eyes roaming the ceiling as she pondered whether to opt for a serious question or not. In the end she played it safe. “What’s your favourite thing about me?”

“That’s your question?” Darlene laughed “Fuck, this really is like being back in college.”

“Well, truth or drink?” She shrugged awkwardly turning her attention back to the bar. She was attempting to give the impression she wasn’t that interested in the answer, but Darlene could see right through it.

“Hm, well, there’s too many things. I mean,” she tilted her head to the side and reached up to twirl a lock of Dom’s hair round her finger, the agent’s eyes following her movements curiously, “I don’t usually go for redheads but...I’ve always thought the colour really suited you.” She ran her hand slowly down her thinly covered arm next, Dom flinching timidly beneath her touch. Her cheeks were practically on fire. “And obviously I think your tat is fucking hot.” Her hand glided teasingly close to the area Dom was now yearning for it to be, but eventually found its resting place at the top of her thigh. “Then, to reiterate what I said earlier, you’re pretty great in the bedroom.” Dom’s mouth was left slightly agape at Darlene‘s silky-toned words, and her thigh longed for Darlene’s hand to return as it left to reach for her whiskey once again. “But honestly? It’s your big heart.“ she looked at Dom for a moment longer, her eyes sweetening as they traced each of Dom’s features. Then she turned away, gulping down her last mouthful of bourbon.

Darlene’s hand had left a burning trail, her entire body filling with desire. But what she felt prominently was the intense throbbing in her heart at the girl’s earnest affection. It was nice seeing Darlene’s soft side. She smiled shyly. 

“That’s, um, sweet.”

“Don’t make it weird.” She let out a half-suppressed laugh. “Anyway, bottoms up.” She handed Dom a shot, and Dom swallowed it back as quickly as she could, shivering at the fiery sensation it left in the back of her throat. She took a sip of the sweeter-tasting liquor she’d previously been drinking to wash it down.

She took a deep breath, “Okay, your tur-“

“Why did you get on the plane?” The question spilled from Darlene’s lips without much thought and hit Dom like a punch to the gut. She twisted away from Darlene biting at her lip nervously, her blood running cold. “I mean, why did you change your mind?” She pushed further.

It was a question that haunted Darlene since she’d first received word from Dom she’d gone to Budapest after all, and though she hadn’t imagined asking her in a tipsy game of truth alongside some cheery country song she wasn’t too fond of, she desperately wanted the answer. Needed the answer. 

Had it been for her? Or had she just wanted to escape the grind after all? Why didn’t she get off when she hadn’t been on the plane? Why didn’t she contact her sooner?

Her heart dropped when Dom reached for the shot instead.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

The rim of the shot glass brushed against Dom’s lip, and she closed her eyes at Darlene’s anger hanging heavy in the air between them. Of course she could just lie...tell her she wanted a break after all - Darlene’s company or not. But Dom prided herself on her honesty, and after everything, she certainly wasn’t willing to lie to Darlene. She just couldn’t get into the conversation right now. Not tonight. Not like this. 

She knocked the shot back, wincing at the chemical taste it left on her tongue, not daring to look at Darlene afterwards.

“I’m going for a piss.” Darlene stumbled off the stool, knocking back one of the shots just for the sake of it before storming towards the restroom and slamming the door open, rough paintwork crumbling and splintering into her hands at the force. Dom thought about going after her, but instead collapsed her head into her hands and shut her eyes tight.

Darlene was stubborn, but Dom knew she’d understand after some thought. One day, they’d lay out all the answers to the questions that weighed down on their heavy hearts, the formidable discussion needing to be had eventually. But for tonight there was still too much pain locked away to be unleashed in a silly drinking game. The serious questions could wait. She wanted one day without the weight of their past burdening either of them.

_ 

Dom didn’t know how long she’d been sat there with her head in her hands and eyes closed, the feeling of defeat swamping her fried brain, but her head eventually snapped up towards the jukebox when a familiar song began to play. And there she was, Darlene, pushing herself away from the machine and traipsing her way back towards her.

_“I am an old woman named after my mother  
My old man is another child that's grown old” ___

_____ _

_____ _

She wore a weary smile and looked down at her feet, picking at her nails as she stood before Dom. It was times like these, when Darlene looked so uncharacteristically vulnerable, where Dom just wanted to hug her and never let go.

_“If dreams were lightning thunder was desire  
This old house would have burnt down a long time ago” ___

_____ _

_____ _

“I’m sorry, okay? That game was a stupid idea, I just...there’s still a lot of shit we need to talk about and-“

Dom reached out and took Darlene’s hands in her own, feeling them flinch before easing into her touch. She leaned forward to try and meet her eyes; her wide blue eyes that always held so much emotion. Her key to reading Darlene.

“It’s okay. I get it.” Her tone was gentle, her eyes kind and grounding Darlene as always. And _there _was that compassion. That big heart that Darlene loved so much about Dom shining it’s way through.__

____

____

_“Make me an angel that flies from  
Montgomery  
Make me a poster of an old rodeo _”__

_____ _

_____ _

Dom felt Darlene’s hands tugging at hers, prompting her to stand up. She was confused as to why but indulged her anyway. Her vision dizzied slightly when she first got to her feet, the alcohol still buzzing through her.

_“Just give me one thing that I can hold on to  
To believe in this living is just a hard way to go.” ___

_____ _

_____ _

Darlene swayed gently as she walked backwards towards the jukebox, pulling the pretty redhead along with her. 

Dom let out a nervous laugh, looking from their entwined hands and back up, “What are we doing?”

Darlene’s smile grew, watching the agents endearing awkwardness surfacing. Dom’s eyes trailed down Darlene’s slender body, landing at the curve of her hips swinging left and right. Darlene tracked Dom’s line of vision and placed the woman’s hands securely round her waist, wrapping her arms around Dom’s neck. “Dancing.”

Dom laughed nervously again. 

“I’m no dancer.” She replied, nevertheless swaying her hips in unison with Darlene’s. She looked around shyly at the crowds of people all over the place, all of which were too invested in their own groups to care about what her and Darlene were doing. Then she looked back towards their belongings and drinks, wondering if they were safe to leave unattended with all these people-

Darlene’s hand pulled firmly on her cheek and brought her attention back to where it should be. 

“Stop worrying so much.” Darlene’s tone was light and airy, and Dom suddenly felt her heart hammering against her chest as she watched the woman she’d been infatuated with for so long swaying beneath her fingertips. This wasn’t just a dream or a fantasy, which had so often been the case when it came to Darlene. No, this was really happening. She just wanted to drink her in, memorise every feature of hers as if might be her last chance - after all, there had always been something at stake in the past when it came to the two of them.

The sound of chiming glasses and muffled chatter faded away as they fell into one another, and all that was left was them and the music. Their song. The song they were reclaiming from a time their relationship had been doomed. In this moment though, as they held on to one another rocking left and right harmoniously, the possibilities for them seemed endless. 

Darlene inched closer, the musky vanilla scent that was Dom growing stronger and intoxicating her senses. Grey apprehensive eyes darted between her own. The added scent of bourbon lingered in the air, their breath fusing in the small distance between them, and Dom wanted nothing more than to close the gap and taste that sweet liquor on Darlene’s tongue. 

She pulled at her waist, bringing their bodies as close together as she could. Electricity ran through her with each movement, and her breath quickened as she built up the courage to press her lips against Darlene’s, eyes flickering between the woman’s full lips and gleaming eyes, heartbeat drumming loudly in her ears. But before she knew it, it was too late.

Darlene’s lips were already on hers.

Her mind went blank. No thoughts, just _feeling _. Fireworks in her chest, lust coursing through her veins, the desperation of her lips on Darlene’s, burning desire between her thighs.__

____

____

Darlene’s tongue brushed over hers, oak and caramel undertones lacing her whiskey breath. With each lap of her tongue Dom wanted more. She ran her hands up Darlene’s back, fingertips grazing the soft flannel across the dip of her spine and she arched into her at the touch. Darlene wanted this badly. She wanted every inch of Dom. She wanted to prove to Dom just how much she cared, how much she missed her - had craved her. Arousal blossomed from deep within her as their bodies pressed against one another, and for a moment she was tempted to just say _“fuck it, let’s do it in one of the cubicles right now” _, but that wasn’t the way she wanted it to go, no matter how much she wanted to hear Dom moan for her again.__

____

____

She pulled away - painfully slow - biting lightly on Dom’s lip as she did, and Dom almost stumbled into her. 

She fluttered her eyes open, her senses coming back to her gradually. A new song was playing, and the bar was now rowdier than it had been before. Darlene was still inches from her face, running her tongue across her lips as she studied Dom. She reached up for a tress of Dom’s hair once again - twirling it around her finger just as she had earlier. 

“How about another drink?”

Still stuck in a daze, Dom could only nod.  
_

They ended up staying till it was closing time - joking, flirting, touching and _lots _of drinking. By the time they got up to leave they were stumbling over their own feet, giggling like idiots at nothing in particular.__

____

____

Darlene laughed even harder when Dom managed to walk into the doorframe as they made their way out into the cool night air, and Dom shoved her playfully in response - only for Darlene to fall back into the door and start cackling even harder. She bent over, a hand resting on her knee to support her weight and the other waving in the air, pleading for Dom to stop encouraging her laughter when she couldn’t take the feeling in her stomach anymore. She didn’t want it to stop really though. It was a nice kind of pain that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Darleeeeene!” Dom drawled, still giggling as she spoke. She walked unsteadily towards the brunette and tugged at her arm. “Come on, we have to catch the subway.” Even when they were drunk, Dom still managed to be the more level-headed of the two. 

“Can’t we just get a cab?” She whined, wobbling back to her upright position and closing her eyes in attempt to subside the vertigo she was feeling.

“No, come on.” She chuckled tugging at Darlene’s arm again, trying not to lose balance herself.

“Okay fine.” she withdrew her arm from Dom’s grasp and began dancing alongside her down the sidewalk to the non-existent music, spinning and waving her arms in the air. Maybe she _was _drunk, but she felt so happy, and so did Dom as she watched the beautiful girl whirl around under the streetlights.__

____

____

They made it to the corner when Darlene had stopped and tottered back to link arms with Dom. She took a deep breath in through her nose and smiled.

“Y’know what Dom?” she unlinked her arm and wrapped it around Dom’s shoulders instead, leaning her full weight into her, “Y’know what?” She repeated again drunkenly, prodding a finger into the woman’s chest with her other hand, watching her expectantly.

“What?” Dom had slurred out.

“I think-“ She prodded Dom’s chest again, “I think If the world ended tomorrow, I’d die happy.” 

Dom smiled down at the girl, believing that she could probably say the same and mean it. But before she got the chance, a conversation she once had about the world ending crossed her mind and the previous thought had disappeared. Her amplified emotions got the better of her and suddenly her eyes were glistening. Darlene tried to focus on them as they walked, looking back and forth between them trying to figure out why the hell she was suddenly on the verge of tears. 

“I miss my Alexa.”

Darlene stopped in her tracks, still clinging onto Dom, and leaned back to look at her incredulously.

“You did _not _just say that.”__

____

____

_

Neither of them could really recall how they’d managed to make it to the subway from there. The fresh air on the way had sobered them up a little though, and as they went to find a seat, they were no longer staggering all over the place.

They sat down beside each other in the empty carriage, shoving their belongings under the seat carelessly before leaning back and resting their heads against the cool glass of the window behind them. Darlene stretched her legs out, boots scraping against the floor till they reached the middle of the carriage. Dom crossed her legs towards Darlene and lay her hand palm-side up on the other girls thigh for her to hold.

Instead, the girl began to measure her hand against Dom’s, watching sceptically as it became apparent her hand was slightly smaller than the agents.

“Your hands are fucking huge.” She remarked. Her head was vibrating against the motion of the train as it started moving, and she turned to face the redhead.

It wasn’t the comment Dom had expected, and she was taken aback. She looked back down at their hands with a frown, noticing her fingers were only slightly longer than Darlene’s.

“Well maybe yours are just too small.” 

Darlene laughed, “Yeah,” she rest her head on Dom’s shoulder and finally entwined their fingers. “‘Maybe.” she closed her eyes, comfort flooding through her as she felt the warmth of Dom on her cheek through the woman’s shirt.

Dom lay her head atop Darlene’s, and her heart fluttered as she saw the vague reflection of them in the window opposite. She was really glad she hadn’t turned down Darlene’s offer in the end. She rubbed the back of Darlene’s hand with her thumb, eliciting a small hum of content from the brunette, and she soon closed her eyes too.

After a few seconds of peaceful silence passed, Darlene spoke up again.

“Hey, if you’re down we should totally get that turtle tomorrow.” She smiled to herself, eyes still closed.

“I’ll think about it.” Dom chuckled, no real intention of considering the idea. She placed a chaste kiss on Darlene’s head and continued to watch out the window, waiting for their stop. The alcohol still buzzed through her and she seemed to be feeling everything 10 fold, the prominent emotion right then being love. She squeezed Darlene’s hand a little tighter.

Despite all the times she had promised herself that she’d never let this happen again - let Darlene get too close and give her the chance to shatter her heart a second time - she decided to just let go of everything and invite Darlene back to hers that night. She remembered the thought that had come to her when she’d handed Darlene the matchsticks earlier that day.

_Even if Darlene was to hurt her again, some people were worth suffering for. ___

____

____

But when Darlene’s eyes locked with Dom’s to accept her offer, they held a promise in them - that she wouldn’t allow Dom to suffer at her hand ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I’m quite disappointed with how this turned out, it wasn’t how I envisioned it at all but it is what it is I guess.
> 
> I did have a few little ideas for another chapter (much shorter, with some explicit content if that’s something you’d want) but I’m also happy with leaving this as it is and starting something new. Let me know what you guys would like to see. 
> 
> Lastly Thank you so much to everyone who’s given me feedback, it means more to me than you know.❤️
> 
> [Edit] - Kylar did some adorable fan art for this, I feel so lucky. Check it out - https://mobile.twitter.com/domlenehell/status/1217516839296696320


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